Part of my getting involved in interrupting or preventing a violent incident includes not challenging the dominant force of the incident. I am not the toughest guy in the world, in fact I don't even like to fight. I just don't ever want to lose, and I am unable to be present for violence without taking SOME kind of action. So intervening without appearing to, has worked for me.
Once I was visiting a huge Country and Western club in San Jose. It had many attractions to occupy the drinkers between dances. As I strolled through, I stopped at a crowded area around one machine. Two men in cowboy attire were punching a machine that was registering the knock-out power in their right hands. Both were impressive, making a dial spin multiple times. One of them was clearly superior at this game, getting perhaps six spins to four from his adversary. They invited anyone to outpunch them for drinks.
The beautiful girlfriend of the superstar puncher was tiring of the show and approached him to get his attention. He was excited about his success and the awe he was inspiring, but she wanted to move on. She grabbed his shiny blue western shirt-sleeve and tugged. He turned savagely and suddenly pushed her with both hands and down
she went. He yelled at her to NEVER pull on his shirt, and she yelled back at him as she got up. He closed in on her with both fists clenched, his back rigid, and his adrenalized mind gone, looking like he'd make her pay dearly for her unforgivable act of wardrobe disrespect.
I had no desire to fight the fellow, or to appear heroic and bring his anger onto myself, so I decided to play "the fool." I stepped forward and walked clumsily between them. I was carrying a beer, I turned sideways to "edge past," to signal that this was a serious attempt to get to the other side of them, perhaps for a better view of the punching machine. I bumped the guy and made him turn away, and bumped him again while turning back apologizing for my clumsiness. He yelled, "You stupid ass hole!" and I fumbled some more, "Oh, MAN, I'm sorry!, Damn,!" and I turned around to apologize to the woman for being so stupid, and she straightened herself a bit and stepped away. I turned back to the superstar and said,"I'm just trying to get a better view of you beating the Hell out of that machine."
"Well, watch where you're going, your jerk!"
"I'm sorry man, sorry."
The punching champion remained the punching champion, didn't break his girlfriend's jaw, I didn't get hit, the moment of high tension dissipated, the girl cooled off with another girlfriend and the guy had no other challengers on the punching machine, so he soon returned his focus to his evening with his beauty, and they resumed looking like any other couple enjoying the evening. It seemed like a painless moment to let him shout at me, derailed from the prospect of hurting the woman. I felt and feel good that I averted a serious incident.
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